A beginning and an end

I know this blog didn't see much writing during 2007, but I do want to change that even though I don't now if anyone will ever see my words but me. And does it really matter? since I began this as a way to get the thoughts that rambled in my head out, and maybe to keep in touch with friends and family who take the time to read. So, let's start 2008 with a promise to myself to write more, and to be honest in what I say.

To wrap up the year, and "an end", the funeral was painful for all. I hurt because I can feel the pain of those who lost their daughter, sister, friend, niece, cousin etc. The mass was beautiful, but the pain hurt. When I walked out of church, the pain was gone, but the tears lingered for days as I wondered what our new year at school would be like.
Thursday, we returned to a quiet group at times, to teachers who said nothing, and to teachers who let the class know they were trying to understand. And in the typical way of many of our students, A's closest friends came to see me and said, "We know we could talk anytime with you or the counselor, but we don't want to miss class". Yeah, that's my kids. Anyway, we (6 girls and I) spent lunch, study hall and then their gym class talking. Or I listened mostly while they talked. It was hard, tiring, but I think it helped them a little. Yesterday, I faced the empty chair in my Psych class, and cried later in my office after speaking with a parent who is concerned. Long days, lots of thoughts, and knowing that there will be hard times but also it will get easier. That's what I tell myself.

Before returning to school, we had visitors here, though, so I got to see life when my brother, his wife (and my sister in my heart), and beloved nephew/godson spent 4 days here with us. We had a great time, although I cried because I want San Diego to be closer to us. My sister-in-law is my friend, and I wish we lived down the road and not across the country.

We are at home for a moment, but had a productive day shopping for a shower gift and gift for Keith's daughter's 30th birthday. Tonight is a get together to watch football, or to talk with friends. . I guess it depends on who you are.

Too long away, and very sad news to add

We went to Disney World on the 15th, and had a great time for the most part. I will post more on that when I have more time. We are trying to get the house ready for our company and I came home with a rotten cold.

The last day of our trip, I received the horrific news that one of our current seniors was killed in a car accident on Thursday evening. This didn't ruin the trip, but it did kind of dampen the spirit on Friday. Our kids organized a prayer service for Friday night, and I wish I would have been able to be there, but I will be able to go to her funeral. Its going to be rough going back to school on the 3rd.

And December begins

The month is off to a good start, but then that voice in my head says I shouldn't tempt fate. I have some cookies baked for Christmas, even have some gifts wrapped although there are still more to do. We are looking at the list of things to do before family gets here on the 27th and working as a team, but also we have a week at Disney World to celebrate us.

I had a follow up with my doctor and the bone marrow biopsy I had was negative, and the CT scan didn't show any enlarged lymph nodes which were two things he was concerned with. I am iron deficient but not anemic so I will be getting 12 weeks of IV iron replacement beginning this week. The doc is also consulting some specialist within the field to check on some other results, so things are still at a "not sure" phase, which is OK with me since the worst of the tests so far have come back clear.

I did better blogging before, and have decided to try and make December my month to stay online with my thoughts. . .although we will be in FL from the 15th-22nd.

Sometimes,

you just want to close your office door, take the phone off the hook, and tell the young men and women to find someone else to ask.

you have to yell to get your point across because the same young men and women think they can do what they want (it seems they have forgotten who is in charge)

you just want to tell your husband to take a long, long walk.

Weekends are for what?

What are weekends for? To recharge our batteries for the work week. . .but what if we also work on weekends. . .when do we recharge? To clean or do laundry. . .but what if we need to do it at another time? To spend time watching college football, eating dinner out or having a family dinner? OK, I can go for that one.

I had a 3 day weekend, but still dont' feel I will accomplish anything even though I did work this am, have decluttered some of my stuff, and am preparing books to mail out to swappers. Yet, I also am procrastinating on the big stuff like grading papers, cleaning or just tackling a big project. Who cares but me anyway?

I also am trying to get my head around the fact that I have only one month to complete all Christmas shopping, wrap gifts and decorate since we are leaving on December 14th for Disney. Hell, in between there I also have to work. Too bad cause otherwise I would be able to get it all done in record time. Yes, yes, I do have a Thanksgiving break to look forward too since hubby will be out hunting from Saturday through Monday, so I will attempt to decorate, bake cookies and maybe freeze a few dishes we can use for our holiday break. We will actually be having some company here since 2 of my brothers are coming in, and only one can stay with my mother. The other COULD stay with my Dad but we have a better house for a toddler, will help watch him, and will actually have food and beverages around for him. Love my Dad but he just wouldn't be as adjustable as we could be to have our godson and his parents stay here. They have been here before for a short stay, so we can make do even with only one bathroom.

I think I have blogged more this week than in the entire summer. I am feeling the need to do it again, so if there is anyone out there reading. . .keep coming around to read my thoughts and opinions.

BOOK REVIEW

The Potluck Club was on my TBR shelf, and I found it entertaining but also a fairly quick read. It was OK, but not one of the best I have read in recent months. I do like the characters, but don't know if I will read the next one even though I have seen good reviews on paperbackswap.com.

No office or kids for a week. . .what?

We had a 3 day week in a way, but we do have Parent-Student-Teacher conferences tomorrow. I have letters of rec to write while I see the 30 students I do teach, and things I hope to mail out tomorrow as well. Friday is a day off. Monday is my medical test, and Tuesday is a meeting out of the building. So, what seemed to be a long month is not quickly passing.
I am going to try and enjoy the long weekend but I do have some paperwork to do for DUI class, and I teach my last Saturday am class, but I still think it will be somewhat relaxing. (either way, I PLAN on some relaxing as the weekend goes by----I deserve it)

I want to curl up with a good book, watch some trashy TV and think about Christmas shopping. I did buy a few things today off of a website: lillyskids.com which is Lillian Vernon kids stuff, and I actually need to stop for my nieces and nephews. . .well, except for a cute book cause Aunt Chris always needs to get a book for them.

Anyway, Keith and I are cutting back, and I already do have some things for other people so things are going ok. . .

Off to watch some reality TV

The What has Happened Entry

Besides the reading challenge I just added, there have been no posts since August. It has been a crazy start to the school year and end to my summer break. First, I ended up battling a kidney stone right as school was to begin. It was 7 mm (ended up being bigger), and caused much pain and wear/tear on the body. I was drinking alot of water and up at night due to output, so I was tired. I didn't pass it, so I went to see a urologist who said "Too big to pass. . .need to break it up." That was scheduled for the day I had to attend a workshop for all Diocese employees so I missed that and only worked 1/2 days the rest of the week---the blasting is painless cause you are in twilight, but it sure does make you feel "beat up".

There ended up being other issues w/my health that I am still dealing with. I really don't have all the answers because I have a few more tests to undergo, but I have seen a specialist, and while I don't know the outcome, I did get more information and I think my anxiety is lessened a little.. My sugar and thyroid are good, and one of the things they "saw" with my CT scan (which is how these tests all started) is no longer an issue. I did get an all clear on that. My blood pressure has also been good since my meds were upped---even at the gyne which usually causes a raise in it. I haven't had any of the symptoms I was questioned about, so I am taking it one day at a time.

We had a great summer vacation, to back track a little---we were in Phoenix and San Diego to see brothers and nephews and had a great time. We both left wishing we could be closer to our godson, Carson and my brother/sister-in-law, but we will be seeing them over Christmas so that is something to look forward to.

We are also looking forward to a week at Disney World in December. My break begins on December 14th so off we go on the 15th with a week there and still a week at home for the holiday. We have it all set and are currently at 40 days and counting.

School has been crazy but after this weekend's Open House, we are having a bit of a break although who knows when the craziness will pick up again. Just one moment at a time.

OK. . a real post and a wish that I will use this space wisely.

A new month, and a reading challenge

Two actually. . the first is to see if I can blog daily cause I really do need a place to put my thoughts, and this does help sometimes.

But the second is a challenge of books once again. . .found here at Overdue Books which is to find 5 books on your to be read pile and read them by January 30th. I KNOW I can do this one cause both breaks for holidays are coming!!

Here are my books for this challenge:

1. Potluck Club by Eva Marie Everson, Linda Evans Shepherd
2. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
3. Case Histories by Kate Atkinson
4. A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libby Bray
5. Step Ball Change by Jeanne Ray
6. When the Heart Cries by Cindy Woodsmall

I may be changing one of these but I also hope to read more than these 6 by January.

Updating books read and more

Two quick things:

I am updating my books read as I finish books, so if you like to read and want to see what I have read in August, keep checking.

Second, Maanika. . .welcome!! I haven't heard from you in ages, and would like to stay in touch so can you email me your email!!! I lost a lot I had saved, and you may have a new one since the last time we chatted.

Ending of summer

The days are winding down to the end of my summer vacation. However, I believe I will have a chance to still enjoy those sunshine days and work at home either in the evening or morning on "things that must be done". Currently, that is fixing up transcripts for those kiddos who have transferred out, and doing the schedule for the current students for next year. I am trying to make the most of each day, and read, get some sun, and still feel like I have accomplished something. I have also been weeding out books: posted some on Paperback swap, have others ready to donate, and a final grouping to take to half price books and maybe be able to get a few books I need to complete my series of specific authors that I like.

Not much to say, but I am trying to get back into the posting. Usually, there is lots to say as the school year tries to push me (and I push back!!)

August reading

Because I can't seem to keep the reading list on the sidebar up to date, I decided I would do a post a month on what I have read. Mainly because I am trying to keep track of reads, but also because my TBR pile seems to be growing. So, August begins with:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling***LOVED IT!! What else can I add?

2. Barefoot by Elin Hildebrand***Great read for women, had happy, sad, anger and friendship in it.

3. Tell Me No Lies by Sidney Sheldon***Just OK. Found it at a used book sale, and am donating it on.

4. Back on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber***Great book although I did like her first two much better. It seemed to drag in parts, and in others the characters seemed bored in their own book.

5. The Last Summer (of you and me) by Anne Brashears of the Traveling Pants fame. It was an interesting read, but in a way predictable to me.

6. The Red Hat Club by Haywood Smith. . .great read that was quick and made you love the characters even if you didn't think it was a realistic situation..

7. The Elements of Style by Wendy Wasserstein. Really did enjoy this one and actually had it with me when I went for my kidney stone blasting. Read in the waiting room and while at home recovering.

I will keep returning to this post to update, or maybe copy and paste if the month gets too many posts. We have returned from our trip, and are trying to clean up the house. We sold the Jeep Cherokee, and currently have only one car until we can get out to make a deal for (hopefully) a Jeep Compass. And right now, we are off to a gathering of friends. Have a great Saturday.
(Added due to a comment: What I thought briefly of the book--would I recommend it, and what category does it fall in)

Books and more books

Hello my name is chris and I am a book addict. So much so that one of my favorite blogs to check out is
Patchwork of Books where I read about a unique book giveaway: Pay It Forward sponsored by Overwhlemed with Joy.
And I decided I may want to play, but I really like to explore the books being forwarded, and hope to have a chance to read one or two. Just more reading for the addict.

Did I mention that I went to a used book sale and bought over 30 books for myself although a few are for work, and I also found an old "Junior Girl Scout" handbook like I had way back in the day. It looks brand new, and I think it is a neat collector's item for me.

Faster Faster Faster

Whoo Hoo!! We finally have our cable hook up and its fast. I can check blogs, blog myself, check emails, and all that fun stuff really quick after using dial up, and I will learn how to do the i-tunes, i-photo and all that stuff. Can you believe it? Now I just need to find the time to blog more and about more important things on my mind.

Computer Issues and news

I was doing so good about posting more often, and then whap!! I stop. There are reasons behind this, though, so bear with me. First of all, last week was the leadership workshop, two nights of work, dinner out with friends, and date night with husband. So, I rarely was online except to check email. On Thursday, after work, I found out that our second line was not working (again. . .happened a few months ago). After discussing with hubby, we decided it was time to go for the com**cast net connection, and have phone, net and TV through them. Instead of calling to get the 2nd line looked at (outside trouble if it was like the last time), we registered for the new connection, cancelled the 2nd line, and ordered a new laptop from MAC. However, for some reason, we are unable to connect to our primary phone line easily with the borrowed laptop I have at home right now. So computer use has been sporadic and not so good.
The good news is that as of July 7th, we will have our com**cast connection up and running AND the new laptop that is OURS and not borrowed from school will be hooked up to it. I have been online at my Mom's, work, and even at the hotel in State College where we were for 2 days for my DUI Instructor workshop. We are home now, and I am getting ready to leave school for home, and thought I wanted to leave a note.

I accomplished so much today to prep for next year, and to wrap up some of last year's stuff. I love when I have a workday like this when I can and feel like I actually got something done.

Random thoughts

**Summer vacation officially started on Wednesday after a lunch with the faculty. I wasn't overly keen on going since I was a bit miffed at some of the others who:
**had students who failed but didn't notify either me or AP so we could get letters out sooner. Ended up doing a rush job on Wednesday.
**had problems with grades online, and didn't realize it until they were already given out, so then phone calls abound.
**look at me like I am crazy when I ask if I can reach them if I have questions on grades/schedules over summer. Hey, I am union too but some of my work doesn't get done until everyone else's is done. *sucks I know*
**grouchy and demanding attitudes. That says it all.

Anyway, I went in Thursday briefly but have leadership workshop next week so I managed to avoid the place on Friday except to take my nephew in to meet our secretary. We went to the pool then. He is a cutie and talks like crazy. . .funny kid, but aren't they all to some extent.

We are having a gathering here today so we have been prepping food, the house, the outside, etc. Its hot, but at least there is no rain. Its supposed to be humid and very hot this week. . .of course, I have workshops from 10-2 each day. I am hoping to get to the pool after Monday/Wednesday even if I have to sneak myself out. After all, it is my summer vacation too. I am getting a little more protective of my time. As I said, I am union, and I should be off all summer. But due to the way things are with records, schedules, etc. I do have to go in. I try to keep it to the mornings and not on Fridays. So far, so good.
Enjoy the day.

Monday, Monday

We had a fun weekend for our anniversary, and the weather was blue skies, sunshine, and gorgeous all the way. After a semi-early trip to the strip district for some veggie buying and perusing the cultural stores, we headed to the shops at the waterfront where we had fun exploring, listening to some music, and enjoying the day. We finally ate at P*F* Chang's where we were supposed to go for my birthday and it was delicious. We also spent some time playing games at Dave ***and Buster's where I was able to shoot at dinosaurs and criminals. It must bring out my aggressive side to do this. Yesterday, we headed out to a park for Keith's great-nieces grad party. We seem to miss alot of his family get-togethers so I am glad it worked out for Sunday.

Now, on to more important thoughts. (Are you kidding me?) The question of the day is: Are you a one bottle at a time bath gel person, or do you have many that you choose from on any given morning. I am the latter, and usually have at least 5 or 6 bottles of gel/lotion going at the same time. I guess I just can't make up my mind on any given morning, so I need to have choices. And since I have a (too) big stockpile of gels and lotions, I can do this. Currently, the faves are: Strawberry from the Body Shop, Tropical Passionfruit from BBW, and Iced Tea Twister from BBW. (And that is only 3 of the 6 I have in the shower at the same time. . . its a good thing only 2 of us have to share the shower!!)

More later, I want to get on the road to do my paperwork for job #2.

Is it really 6 years?

This Saturday, Keith and I will have been married for 6 years. That is amazing to me on so many levels. One is the complete quickness of passing time, but more than that is the fact that I had put marriage in a "back" area of my head prior to meeting him. At 35, there was no steady man, or even one that was tempting me into marriage. I was happy with my job, my friends, and the world I was living in. Later the year I turned 35, and thought about where I was, I was coerced into a blind date by a former student. It was his supervisor, and we were meeting at a local bar on a Sunday night. I almost didn't go, but was called and told "I had to", so I gave in. (Never did have much backbone!!)
I met him, and within a month we were dating seriously, and got engaged when I had a leap-year birthday and turned 36. Next year is another leap year. . .and I will be 44. Where does the time go? Keith and I have always felt like we've known each other forever, but also have enough differences to keep us from being boring. He likes that I have friends to go out with for theater; he gets to watch sports on TV. He likes that I plan alot; he goes along for the adventure. We find we can finish each other's thoughts, but weirder still, we sometimes find we are simultaneously thinking of something that is similar without ever speaking of it before.
So, 6 years. . .and odd number to celebrate, but we are. Life is too short not to take the time to enjoy each other.

We are spending the day together (which means by the end, we will be happy to have some time apart!!). I want to go to the strip for some early morning produce/specialty store shopping (its a fun place in Pittsburgh) to the Arts Festival, out to dinner, and wherever our Jeep takes us for the day. It may rain, but we have umbrellas. Just a chance to get out and enjoy the anniversary of our day. . .and the end of my school year with students.

Now, to remember what the 6th anniversary is? Anybody know?

Over and gone

Graduation is over, and I slept last night. For the past week, I have slept in only one hour increments which really interferes with sleep stages and REM. I tried to "relax" as everyone at school said, but the racing thoughts didn't help me get the sleep I needed. But, today, I feel better since I did sleep.

Things went well, although we did have a bit of drama before when a student who was not able to walk showed up. There is still a tuition balance of significant amount and the rule is they cannot walk or receive the diploma. It is hard to have this happen, but we have to follow rules. Things were handled, she left and the ceremonies went off very well, and I was home by 9:15 pm.

Today, the sun is shining and I am hoping to sit poolside to get some sun on my pale legs and enjoy the company of either friends or a good book. I am not even sure what is left on my reading list cause I haven't read a book in over a month. Hard to believe MAY flew by and its June. But, it always seems to be that way. I have many late birthday cards to send, so I want to work on that tonight. Life begins to resume its regular pace, and we have only 5 days left with kids and then 3 teacher days the next week. I am looking forward to mid-June weekend cause my brother Doug and nephew Adam are coming in for a visit. Doug is going to the Open, so Mom and I get to keep Adam occupied all day. A three year old. . .tiring but fun. And we never get to see him that often.

Bye for now, and don't fall off your chair with 2 posts in two days. I am returning.

Ramblings

There is something about a clean piece of paper or a clean area to blog. It gives me a chance to write about whatever is on my mind. Currently, its racing around fiendishly. It has been the month from hell that May always is, but this time, I really did try to make it easier for me by starting with "stuff" early, and it worked. However, those around me failed to co-operate, and I ended up in tears a few times.

Teachers were told grades were due on 22nd by 9, and I didn't get some until after 3 that day. They were told that debts of seniors were due by the 23rd, and I got some after we had already had rehearsal on the 29th. We didn't judge the time well enough for our Senior class day program, wanted to send the kids to either go to homeroom or 4th period and teachers gave us attitude. Awards on my part were started in late April, and the day before I was still being given awards and needed to get certificates made.

I know it doesn't sound rough but there are parts I don't want to go into here. The worst part was last Friday. I was sort of "in charge" of the day since both our principal and asst. had to be out. As we tried to move on after the senior activity, I got attitude as I said, but worse was that after the kids were all gone, the 2 people I am fairly good friends with left with 2 other teachers, and went to lunch. OK, so I don't know this for sure, but when I entered the office as they were all gathering, the looked at each other and then waited until I turned my back for 2 minutes to leave together. Maybe its paranoia, but I doubt it. Anyway, it hurt and I cried. And as I cried, I thought about the people I feel (or felt) closest to in this world besides my husband. And cried more. Wendy, my sisterinlaw, lives in CA, and has a baby so we don't talk as much as we did and she is far away. Yet, I wish I could be closer almost daily. Another friend and I are sometimes hit or miss, but its my fault for not being in touch over the past 2 months. And I still miss the friendship I had that ended with another soul. She may have lived far, but we talked almost daily, and I miss that and her unique love of life. It still hurts that I haven't heard from her in over a year. I guess I wasn't the friend I thought I was.

OK, so this is not a pity party, but it was an emotional night. Keith and I ended up going out to dinner and shopping. (for me~~) I got some Bath and bodyworks stuff, some books, and some gifts for Dad for father's day. Saturday morning, I cleaned out the gels and lotions I had, the candles I didn't want and took them to school for freebies. And all but one candle out of about 12 were taken. It felt good to give them away, and while I am trying to forgive, its not so easy to forget.

Tonight is graduation. Its been a rough two weeks, like it seems to always be, but this year was more personal than just stress. However, today we got pics of a party with drinking and had to deal with that before we left. I am currently in my graduation dress with hair done and ready to leave about 4:45. I like to be there first to enjoy the silence and to double check what I was supposed to do. And after 9 pm, I will be home to enjoy my weekend.

Things at school have many ups and downs and I am not sure why. I feel that a few of our teachers feel more "entitled" when it comes to things. Morale seems low to me, or maybe its just mine. I do have support and a comrade in our asstprin., but its frustrating to feel like I do right now. I want to get out of it, but maybe I just need to feel appreciated instead of "dumped on" (for lack of a better way of saying it).

On a more positive note, we are going to Disneyworld on December 15th for a week, and it will be a way to escape from reality. We also will be in Phoenix and San Diego for 2 weeks this summer to see the nephews, and I hope we can head to Brooklyn in the fall to see my niece and her new baby sister (due in July)

I want to write more. I need to write more. So, let's hope I can use this space wisely.

Reading

Through the Callapidder Days, I found another fun place to go and find me-mes for Thursday. . .its called Booking Through Thursday, and had a great question up for all readers this week. I know its Friday, and I dislike being late but here it goes:

Where is your favorite reading spot? Where do you most of your reading?

My favorite places are at the public pool in the summer, where I can cool off by hopping in the water, grab a snack, and enjoy the sunshine while reading off my long summer list. I also enjoy reading on my front porch, which I intend to do more of this year. However, I probably do most of my reading on my couch, in the evening since in Western PA, the pool weather only lasts from May-early September.