Saturday, January 05, 2008

A beginning and an end

I know this blog didn't see much writing during 2007, but I do want to change that even though I don't now if anyone will ever see my words but me. And does it really matter? since I began this as a way to get the thoughts that rambled in my head out, and maybe to keep in touch with friends and family who take the time to read. So, let's start 2008 with a promise to myself to write more, and to be honest in what I say.

To wrap up the year, and "an end", the funeral was painful for all. I hurt because I can feel the pain of those who lost their daughter, sister, friend, niece, cousin etc. The mass was beautiful, but the pain hurt. When I walked out of church, the pain was gone, but the tears lingered for days as I wondered what our new year at school would be like.
Thursday, we returned to a quiet group at times, to teachers who said nothing, and to teachers who let the class know they were trying to understand. And in the typical way of many of our students, A's closest friends came to see me and said, "We know we could talk anytime with you or the counselor, but we don't want to miss class". Yeah, that's my kids. Anyway, we (6 girls and I) spent lunch, study hall and then their gym class talking. Or I listened mostly while they talked. It was hard, tiring, but I think it helped them a little. Yesterday, I faced the empty chair in my Psych class, and cried later in my office after speaking with a parent who is concerned. Long days, lots of thoughts, and knowing that there will be hard times but also it will get easier. That's what I tell myself.

Before returning to school, we had visitors here, though, so I got to see life when my brother, his wife (and my sister in my heart), and beloved nephew/godson spent 4 days here with us. We had a great time, although I cried because I want San Diego to be closer to us. My sister-in-law is my friend, and I wish we lived down the road and not across the country.

We are at home for a moment, but had a productive day shopping for a shower gift and gift for Keith's daughter's 30th birthday. Tonight is a get together to watch football, or to talk with friends. . I guess it depends on who you are.

1 comment:

Deb said...

I am sooooo glad you are writing. I click on you every day - and love FRESH words from you..... even if it were your grocery list.....